My dad’s birthday was yesterday. I already have missed the birthdays of my mom and older brother. I’ve been distant (little to no contact) from my family for pretty much my entire life and have become fully estranged in the past 2 years. I don’t regret it at all. I have a lot of healing to do and now that I’ve left my abusive past behind, I’m becoming a happier, better person. It’s intensely lonely and I have become a difficult person to know or get close to, but I know I’m going to end up just fine in the end. I’ve always been kind of a loner, even though I know and get along with many many people.
If anyone is going through a similar situation, feel free to shoot me a message. When everyone else is having amazing family moments and celebrations, it can be nice to talk to someone that understands.
I know, I know - still working on that painting! I have less than 3 days to get my shit together and get it done in time. Now that I’m really running out of time I started making bold changes and actually started getting somewhere. Let’s hope it gets me somewhere fast enough.
Somewhat in the same vein, I kinda realized my painting block was caused by the same block that was on my life before. Ever since I stopped giving a flying fuck what anyone thought about me, my life started to get pretty awesome. After putting out my work, I got a lot of feedback - good and not so good (mostly very good, thankfully). Since I’m so new to this, I started getting caught in that trap where I was letting other’s opinions dictate my work and I got terribly lost in the process. It’s hit me like a ton of bricks and hopefully I won’t fall back into the same trap again. People are fans of my work for a reason.
Moral of the story?
The end :)
I’m participating in a Friday the 13th art show next month. The deadline is March 31st and I said I was bringing 5 pieces. Of course, the fifth piece is the one I’ve been stuck on for the past few months. I work really well under pressure, so I feel confident that I’ll finally finish it. Something about a deadline pushes me to be more decisive with what I do and I actually end up surprising myself at the end.